Close your eyes, clear your, heart, let it go.....

I think to often in life I try to hold on to things, whether it be people, things or time. I often get this gut wrenching feeling when I think I might never get to see someone again or talk to them. I often worry that I didn't get to explain my side of the story or that someone is mad at me (when its just my own paranoia). I think of all things that will go wrong, this is the worst thing about me. I WORRY. I can't trust and it makes it hard for me to have a relationship of any kind because I worry from the moment it starts I'm going to loose it. My reaction- hold on tighter and fight harder. I never give up. <------ all of this is WRONG. I shouldn't be fearful or live in worry. God has made it clear that he will provide and keep me strong. Which he does, but maybe I wouldn't hold tighter each time if I just learned to let God handle it, like I should have in the first place. This place we call earth isn't our home- it's no where near the place God promises us. GALATIONS 4:7 reads: "God will give you what he promised, because you are his child." My life is promised to me and my life with everything I need is promised to me. I have to learn to TRUST God first- I often find myself doubting him- even though I know that is wrong- I question him "why is this happening, again?" I realized that after all this, how can I seriously trust others; when I cant even trust my God, My creator, My rock. I think back now how stupid I was to doubt his every move. I find it funny I have such a big issue with this because one of my favorite verses that I read almost once a week had the answer- Proverbs 3:5-6 reads: "Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." It's funny I have read that verse a million times and still haven't trusted him with my whole heart. I started last night packing away old pictures that I didn't need of my sons father- things I've held on to. I want to have a healthy relationship with him and I don't think forcing a friendship or making myself upset because it's not going a certain way was helping. I figured out its time to let go, time to let God go through with his plan for me. Time to stop holding on to things that make me worry. There should be no worry or fear. PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT FEAR. So before bed last night I closed my eyes, cleared my heart, and let it ALL go. I have been using an amazing APP called "myfittnespal", its awesome- I have not only lost 6lbs in 3 weeks but I'm learning this time what is good for me and what not to eat. It's going to be a working process on the working out thing, but I've found some exercises that last about 15 minutes that I do- which I think will be fine for starting out. I started two weeks ago to 150lbs and i am now down to 144lbs! Have a blessed day, Ashley